Bozeman (Apple Cart News) - August 27, 2008
Montana Governor Brian Schweitzer revealed a critical aspect to the plans for a unified government in North America in an eerie replay of Stan Jones' speech during a CSPAN debate in the 2006 US Senate race. 
Unnamed sources are confirming a plan by the recently minted 'petro-dictators' to establish an office in Bozeman in order to advocate media control, night time curfews and random spot checks for oil abusers. They say that anyone caught with oil on their breath will not be tolerated and summary ejections from the city could result if their plan is accepted.
EA (an Helena based group called Energy Alarmists) is decrying the plan. Spokesman Ira Green feels that " addiction is a real problem, if we just banish people who can't control their carbon footprint, it's only a matter of time before the shoe is on the other foot".
Ed Fischer, a former traveler through Montana, thinks Schweitzer just got a little too excited, " Sure he might have gone off script with a certain phrase, but the idea that we have to make our own decisions about energy and not advocate nationalized energy, is absurd. "
Schweitzer spoke before a crowd of democracy evangelists and tried evoked the image of his great uncle Albert Schweitzer. Challenging the acceptance of secular energy policy, the Governor from Montana said;
My grandparents were immigrants who came to Montana with nothing more than the clothes on their back, high hopes and faith in God. My family didn't have much in our little house. But a few things stand out in my memory: a crucifix and, on our kitchen wall, a framed picture of President Kennedy. My parents never even graduated from high school, but President Kennedy's idealism and spirit of possibility inspired them to send all six of us children to college. And when he said, "we're going to the moon,"
No response from the Center for Moonbat Policy was available at time of publication. Previous iterations from them suggest that exploration of the moon is tied to Federal Reserve Policy.
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