Immigrants signed up for an innovative American program called hard work and family dedication. Participants were recognized for their continued contribution to the Social Security system with no expectation of any return. Naysayers turned out in a small protest consisting of odd middling white guys and a fiery group of grannies.
The grannies all admitted that their grandparents were in fact from all over the world, but the sudden megaphone blaring in a reporter's ear prevented any real explanation of their opposition to continued American immigration.
A liberty spokesman weighed in " It's great to see new Americans who appreciate the role and motivations of free markets. They'll become a powerful voice returning us to a free America." Watchdog groups like the Minute Maids are decrying this move as a loss of sovereignty. " We were here first, if our jobs go overseas and are reduced at home by cheap labor, we'll have no choice but to support collectivists if we're to keep our benefits."
The Pro Amnesty Alliance is cautioning that this isn't a big change. " They are already here and producing far more wealth and buying power than they could ever hope for at home. The average Canadian immigrant is allowed to keep half their income instead of just a third." The Alliance cites a report lost in 1993 suggesting that immigrants work hard and seek less help from the government than half of all Americans currently relying on the government for income."
Partiers are salivating over this electoral shift. " If half the people want to speak Spanish and show up to vote, so be it !" A Curious Human spokesman suggested that ' if the average American who doesn't vote doesn't get it yet, they'll be severely challenged by a new group in society that wants to get a bigger car, house or education without the false credit, this is definitely a call for the average piece of daily debris to upgrade their lives a bit, the world doesn't owe you a living." Welfare Leaders For Comments imply that " this is just the temporary insanity of a pre-election year. The Red and Blue can look forward to another 45 years of political domination. As long as the boomers insist on becoming ninety nine, we'll still have a healthy welfare state. Those judges aren't going anywhere despite a challenging Libertarian/Greens coalition threatening the New Hampshire state house."
Despite the simplicity of the process (ie they are here and we will accept them ala Germany 1991) the American public will still think that they own corporation's jobs, immigrants are illegal and the Empire continues to expand past the heartland borders for the greater good of Dinesh DSouza's world view of freedom.
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