Now the think tanks have my address. The Heritage Foundation sent me a survey to be submitted by June 25th. Another deadline missed. 
This thinly guised plea for funds is to be given to all the influential folks in the conservasphere in DC. I know that Alberto Gonzalez reads this blog, unfortunately he has trouble recalling exactly my point many times.
Like Hillary's recent missive this one touches on all the good stuff. Immigration, War on Terror, Security at Home, Government Spending and 'other critical' issues. One even gets a shot at the Prez and his cohorts on Capital Hill. With no further ado, here's a sampling of the secret survey.
Immigration
Do you think illegal immigrants now in the US should be given amnesty ?
The definition of amnesty goes something like this;
1. a general pardon for offenses, esp. political offenses, against a government, often granted before any trial or conviction.
2. Law. an act of forgiveness for past offenses, esp. to a class of persons as a whole.
So we'd basically be saying that, hey I know you're hungry and looking for a better life in the good old USA, so the fact that you're willing to work and pay social security for other indigent Americans is illegal because we say it is. Therefore we're going to pardon this basic economic offense and treat you like a criminal because employers are willing to hire you. Um, right.
Do you think we need to gain control of the borders before we put in place a temporary worker program ?
How come Europe can do this so easily and effective without locking down the border ? All work is temporary, another program organized by the Feds is not the answer.
Do you think a fence should be built along the southern border ?
Nah. It's those canucks bouncing around the Adirondacks that really ticks me off. Always coming down and enjoying our parks and mountains because most Americans stay in and watch TV. It's truly an outrage.
The War on Terror
Is the Bush administration doing enough to win the war against radical Islamic terror ?
Of course one trillion dollars on an ideological tactic is not enough ! We need to bust the bank on this insidious threat. After all, the doctors in the UK filling Jeep Cherokees with 'patio gas' will only come here and toss molotov cocktails into suburban tinder boxes.
What should we do about the war in Iraq ?
Is it a war ? Perhaps an occupation or enforcement of a UN resolution ? Did we ever declare war ? Telling the poor schmucks who are now the army to get tough or die seems impractical. What would happen if you fired all the GOP and Dems currently serving in the army and police ? would the poor unconnected bastards schelping their current subsistence jobs be able to fend off the previously well fed jackboots for the old statist guard ? Add more troops ? Holy Westmoreland.
Do you think Congress has the authority to direct the President's actions on the war in Iraq ?
Gosh, they shouldn't have abrogated the authority in the first place. Certainly they could evoke the War Powers Act, but they don't have the cajones to stand up to Executive power.
Do you support the Bush administration's program to monitor phone calls from suspected terrorists in other countries ?
Far too much potential for abuse even if you're into justifying such actions. Aren't they infiltrating anti-war groups and keeping files on American citizens too ? It's bad enough they just wholesale pick these guys up on a whim and Gitmo them without trial or real facts.
Security at Home
Do you think it is wrong to use ethnic profiling in airport security and other situations ?
If 'other situations' include the right of airlines to accept or reject clients based on spurious or random conclusions, I guess the answer is, yes. Do I think it's right ? No. Should the TSA exist ? No.
Do you think we should continue to admit citizens of hostile countries into the US ?
Sure, why not ? It's usually governments that are irrationally hostile, not people.
Do you think the government should be closely monitoring mosques for terrorist activity or incitement to terrorism ?
While you're at it, why not screen certain sects of fundamental religions for empire-ism and xenophobia. Betcha your taxpayer buck goes further . . .
Government Spending
What do you think about the size of the federal budget ?
Gee goldilocks, if we could make it small enough to drown in the tub comes to mind.
If you think the federal government is too big, whose fault is it ?
All of the above.
Do you think the federal government has taken on too many responsibilities that could be left to states, localities and individuals ?
Especially the latter and you left out charities and mafia groups.
Do you think the federal government controls too many aspects of our lives ?
Well oxygen is still free and masturbation isn't over regulated yet, but boy if they could . . .
Other critical issues
What measures would you like to see taken to improve our energy problems ?
None the market can't take care of, but thanks for asking without using the word independence. Nuclear plants, more exploration, wind turbines (not windmills silly) are fine if left to the producers and innovators, not some botched attempt at glorifying the Apollo project.
What do you think the level of federal governments involvement in K-12 education ?
The same as the 'state's', none.
Do you support a constitutional amendment to ban same sex marriage ?
Look what happened when they banned alcohol. Always a bad idea. get the state out of marriage altogether.
Do you think the federal government should promote traditional values ?
If you mean war, theft and usury, no.
Do you think a photo ID card should be required in order to vote ?
Nope. I also like the idea of a blank ballot.
Needless to say the section about the President's performance is already reflected in recent polls and Congress isn't doing much better, so typing out all those questions isn't going to interfere with watching Dr. Who.
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